Homicide: Life on the Street
Episode 8: "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes"
Disclaimer: The characters, plotlines, quotes, etc. included here are owned by Baltimore Pictures and Fatima Productions in association with NBC Studios, all rights reserved. Homicide was created by Paul Attanasio and based upon David Simon's book Homicide: A Year on the Killing Streets. The following script is in no way a substitute for the show Homicide: Life on the Street, it's for educational and archival purposes only. This script is not authorized or endorsed by Baltimore Pictures, Fatima Productions, or NBC. It was typed out by Kathy ("Just give me a damn cigarette, alright?") B. (IcyCape33@aol.com). This transcript is made available for your downloading enjoyment by Laurel Krahn at http://www.windowseat.org/homicide/scripts/.
The following is from the Court TV version of the episode. I'm sure they cut some scenes in order to allow more time for debt relief and Geico ads. If anyone notices scenes missing from this transcription from and wants to transcribe them, that'd be grand. Email Laurel if you do.
Credits: Written by: Tom Fontana & James Yoshimura Directed by: Wayne Ewing Exective Producers: Barry Levinson & Tom Fontana Daniel Baldwin as Det. Beau Felton Ned Beatty as Det. Stanley Bolander Richard Belzer as Det. John Munch Andre Braugher as Det. Frank Pembleton Clark Johnson as Det. Meldrick Lewis Yaphet Kotto as Lt. Al "Gee" Giardello Melissa Leo as Det. Kay Howard Jon Polito as Det. Steve Crosetti Kyle Secor as Det. Tim Bayliss Gerald F. Gough as Col. Bert Granger Clayton LeBouef as Capt. George Barnfather Sharon Ziman as Naomi Sean Whitesell as Dr. Eli Devilbliss Dan Moran as Howell Steven Marcus as Det. DeSilva Joe Fersedi as Colin Dietz Gavin Goren as Evan Hess Naomi Jacobson as Edith Hamilton Carter Jahncke as Don Falls Walt MacPherson as Officer Rachel Schneebaum as Anna Prager John Waters as The Bartender "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes" (Union Square Neighborhood - outside the H.L. Menchen house. HOWARD and FELTON are interviewing a woman who's discovered this morning's body. The woman smokes a cigarette as the detectives take notes. Felton has a cigarette in his mouth.) HOWARD: You came across the body this morning? EDITH: I thought, my God, what is this? It didn't look real to me for a moment. It looked like a mannequin. It didn't register right away that I was looking at a dead person. A man. HOWARD: What time was this? (HOWARD looks around, distracted. She notices that that many of the people at the crime scene are smoking cigarettes.) EDITH: Uh, about six o' clock. I got up early to check on my perennials. I covered them last night with plastic sheets. There was a threat of frost in the forecast for overnight. HOWARD: What time this morning? Six o'clock? EDITH: Yeah. I just said that, didn't I? HOWARD: Yeah, you did. EDITH: I just wanna make sure you have it. FELTON: Don't worry. If she doesn't I do. HOWARD: And you don't know the victim? EDITH: No. FELTON: Howard, are you okay? HOWARD: Yeah, I'm fine. FELTON: You sure? You just got real pale all of a sudden. EDITH: Sure did. HOWARD: Could ya just go on with what you were saying? (EDITH monkeylights a cigarette; hands the butt over to FELTON to do same. HOWARD looks on.) EDITH: I use plastic to cover my rose bushes and crysamethmums. Now I've been trying to conserve; everyone here in Union Square is recycling. But the plastic keeps the, the air from freezing around the plants; keeps them moist. I wouldn't have used plastic otherwise. HOWARD: (Tapping her pen on notebook:) Call yourself an environmentalist, huh? Cigarette hangin' outta your mouth? You know how many toxins are in those cigarettes? C'mon! Suck it in! Four thousand chemicals in every puff and over forty of 'em cause cancer. (HOWARD and FELTON turn away, towards the body. HOWARD turns back.) You have twice the chances of hittin' the heart attack lottery of somebody who doesn't smoke. And twenty times more chance of gettin' --. EDITH: I never said I was an environmentalist! HOWARD: --lung cancer (laughs). You have empysema. Chonic bronchitis? FELTON: (as he takes Howard's arm:) Come on! HOWARD: Cancer of the mouth, of the throat, of the lungs, of the stomach! Cataracts, uh, loss of vision, sinus infection (chuckles). FELTON: (stopping in his tracks:) Oh my God, you quit smoking. You committed this madness without consulting me first? Are you nuts? (HOWARD starts chewing a piece of gum, walks towards the uniforms at the scene.) FELTON: No no no, you're selfish. You ex-smokers're more relentless than AA or, or the moonies or those born-again vegetarians! Well, tell you what I'm not gonna let you bully me about this. I don't wanna hear about how your lungs are pinker than a newborn baby's or how you, you're free of mucus and phlegm. It's all a bunch of crap. It's all a bunch of nonsense. I don't want you counting the number of days you go without a cigarette when you're supposed to be watching my back. You're puttin' my life on the line! I'll put in for hazard pay. No -- you know what? I'm gonna put in for another partner. (FELTON walks away. Leaves the crime scene.) HOWARD: Beau. Beau! Would ya--? We're not finished here! Oh, damn. (rolling her eyes and turning her attention to the body.) Alright, whatta we got? OPENING CREDITS (A stable. Country and Western music is playing on the radio. Bolander approaches the body - it's a hanging.) BOLANDER: It's a suicide, Munch. MUNCH: Could be a murder staged to look like a suicide. BOLANDER: You've been doin' this for too long. MUNCH: Hey, this is a pretty elaborate setup. (pointing to rope:) I mean, look at these knots and the way this is rigged and everything. And she's not a big person. How'd she get that high? BOLANDER: She was on a horse. Died with her boots on. MUNCH: Yippie ki yay yi oh. (An OFFICER approaches with a man leading a horse.) OFFICER: (Introducing the horse:) Gentlemen, I would like you to meet Frank. We found 'em coupla blocks away. (laughs). MUNCH: Speeding? OFFICER: (laughs) BOLANDER: (as his beeper goes off:) Be right back, ok? MUNCH: Was this country and western music on when you got here? OFFICER: Uh,y es sir. MUNCH: This is what killed her you know. The country and western music. (MUNCH turns the radio off.) OFFICER: I don't follow. MUNCH: You don't follow? Listening to songs like "I'd be Better Off in a Pine Box"? OFFICER: Well, I like country and western MUNCH: Sorry to hear that. Whatta you get when you play a country and western song backwards? OFFICER: (sighs) What? MUNCH: You get your wife back, your job back, and your dog back. (BOLANDER walks back into the conversation.) BOLANDER: That was the lieutenant. He said since this is a suicide that we have here and the squad is shorthanded he wants us to hop over and investigate a suspicious death. MUNCH: Where? BOLANDER: Harbor Hospital. MUNCH: That's not a suspicious death, that's malpractice. (As the detectives walk away;) See ya Frank. (To officer:) Take care Roy Rogers. OFFICER: Yeah. (Stationhouse. The squadroom is busy as usual. A man, Mr. FALLS, is a hardhat and jumpsuit is taking measurements with a counter. PEMBLETON is reading and smoking a cigarette at his desk as FALLS approaches him.) FALLS: How you doin'? PEMBLETON: All right. FALLS: (Taking out his pen to take notes:) Alright. (The man walks away, Pembleton watching him.) (Breakroom. FALLS takes measurements, smiles and acknowledges a staring LEWIS.) (The Box. HOWARD is interviewing a witness.) HOWARD: Who did you see last night at Union Square? (HOWARD hears the door open.) HOWARD: Can I help you? FALLS: Nope. But thanks. (FALLS continues to measure the squadroom, stops as he enters the range of GIARDELLO's glare.) GIARDELLO: Who are you? FALLS: Don Falls. Public Works Inspector. I'm taking air quality measurements. GIARDELLO: Says who? FALLS: Says the city. City Council passed the air quality ordinance three years ago. Every public access building in the city gotta be tested. GIARDELLO: Three years ago, you're now just getting around to it. FALLS: Work order falls in my box yesterday, I come in today. That's all I know for the paycheck I get. GIARDELLO: (referring to counter:) This is a what? FALLS: It's a fibrous aerosol monitor. GIARDELLO: This'll tell me how much dust and fibers in the air? FALLS: Yeah. Continuous reading. GIARDELLO: Is this good? FALLS: Yeah. It's reading less than seventy. Any reading less than seventy particles per square millimeter is okay by EPA standards. GIARDELLO: So it's safe to drink my coffee. FALLS: Yeah. This building? It's not so bad. Cause it's so old. It's the newer buildings. The ones built between the 60's and 70's. Whew. They wrapped up those buildings tighter than a rubber ball. Those are your hot potatoes. Your gas chambers. GIARDELLO: But we're safe here. FALLS: Safe? Oh, yeah. More than safe. GIARDELLO: And you won't bother my detectives anymore? FALLS: Me? Oh. I'm gone. I'm history. (GIARDELLO walks into his office; FALLS walks down the hallway.) (CROSETTI mumbles over a crossword puzzle. LEWIS walks over to CROSETTI's desk, photograph in hand.) LEWIS: You know this probably doesn't say much for me, but you're about the closest thing I got to a best friend. And so without further ado, I want you to see my baby. CROSETTI: Your baby? LEWIS: My baby. CROSETTI: (Looking at picture:) Aw, Meldrick. She's a beauty. I think it looks like an angel. LEWIS: (grabbing photo back:) Not just an angel, Crosetti. It's a high-riser. 427 overhead Cam V-8 with dual *holly cards*. Six hundred horses of power in this baby. She flies like the Wicked Witch of the West! I'm gonna have to move to Nevada. CROSETTI: Oh lemme see lemme see. (LEWIS starts to move towards his desk; he gives the photo back to CROSETTI.) CROSETTI: Where are the doors and the tires? And the-- LEWIS: Aw, you know, see? This is the petty minor details. (Sitting down at his desk:) What you have in your hand is the heart and the soul of the Cobra that I am building. CROSETTI: Let me tell ya that doesn't play with me. See, when ya buy a house, ya don't buy pile of dirt with a toilet on it. You buy four walls which constitutes a dwelling. You, if you look very closely, have squat here. LEWIS: So you're makin' fun of me, and I appreciate that. But what I have there is the foundation of a classic sports car. (Pointing:) What you have on your tie, is ink. Homicide, Detective Goodwrench. CROSETTI: Ink on my t-- (back to his crossword:)oh that's what this was -- tie. (A diner (name?). PEMBLETON and BAYLISS are sitting at the counter after a meal. PEMBLETON has an unlit cigarette in his mouth. BAYLISS is fidgeting.) PEMBLETON: What's the matter with you? BAYLISS: I'm okay. PEMBLETON: (Looking in his pockets:) Forgot my damn lighter. Gimme the light. BAYLISS: I don't, I don't got one. PEMBLETON: You sure? Maybe you do. BAYLISS: I don't. PEMBLETON: Well how do you know? Why don't you check your jacket pocket? BAYLISS: I don't have one cause I don't smoke anymore, Frank. PEMBLETON: I know. But I just thought maybe you had had a match from-- BAYLISS: I can't have lighters or matches or anything on me. I can't have spicy foods, I can't drink beer for a while. I can't have ashtrays in my house. PEMBLETON: Okay. I just thought maybe, you, you had one from before. BAYLISS: I have the patch on. Yeah. One of those nicotine reduction systems. You know, it's gonna wean me off the addiction. I'm on my second set. You know I was comin off of, what was it? (Picking up a pack of smokes:) You know like, uh, was it three packs of these disgusting things, you know, every day, huh? (Throwing pack on counter:) Pfft. I feel better. PEMBLETON: That's good. BAYLISS: You know, and and and and I, and I sleep better Frank. The things that I eat, the foods that I eat? You know I, I gotta stay away from the spicy foods and all that, but but but vegtables, Frank. Vegtables, you know, they just never tasted so sweet. (BAYLISS eats a piece of celery. PEMBLETON's had enough; gets up to leave.) PEMBLETON: I'm gonna get a light in the car. BAYLISS: No no no no. You stay right here Frank. You sat in the smoking section, you get yourself a light. You got those rights. (Calls to waitress:) Can we have matches please? PEMBLETON: Look. No. don't worry about it, Tim. BAYLISS: No Frank. Just sit down, alright? (BAYLISS sits PEMBLETON down.) BAYLISS: Smoke your cigarette right here, alright? It doesn't bother me Frank. (The waitress brings over the check, but no matches.) BAYLISS: Please, just sit down. PEMBLETON: (Standing up again:) Tim? Tim? Does this bother you? BAYLISS: No. PEMBLETON: Yeah. I didn't know, I didn't know. BAYLISS: That's not the point. PEMBLETON: I thought the patch took away the urge. BAYLISS: It does, alright, and there's no problem, Frank. (Reaching into his pocket:) Look it. Aha. Matches. PEMBLETON: Oh, well. BAYLISS: Yeah. PEMBLETON: Oh, great, great great... Now I don't have the urge anymore. BAYLISS: Yeah, you do. PEMBLETON: I don't want the cigarette anymore. BAYLISS: Nah, nah, you do. You just -- PEMBLETON: No, no, I don't. BAYLISS: (Holding the matches:) Just light the match, light the match, light the cigarette, alright? I, I can't light the match because it'll just bring back a very negative uh, you know, kind of a negative... PEMBLETON: And, and then you want me to the cigarette? BAYLISS: Uh, yes. Please. Light the cigarette. PEMBLETON: Even thought I don't want it? BAYLISS: Light the match oh for God's sake, please. Just light it. Yes? PEMBLETON: So this is really you lighting the cigarette, and somehow you're sublimating it through me. BAYLISS: You're nobody's fool, Frank. (PEMBLETON lights the cigarette, takes a drags. BAYLISS waves the second-hand smoke his way, as PEMBLETON blows the smoke towards him.) BAYLISS: Great. Tops off a meal, doesn't it? PEMBLETON: You're one sick puppy, you know that? (The detectives leave the diner.) (In a Cavalier. MUNCH is driving.) MUNCH: Why are cops such big country and western fans? Bobbie Sue this, Billy Ray that. Two-minute stories about how much a dog knows about life. Morality talkes. Slices of life. If dogs knew so much about life, they sure as hell wouldn't hang around with humans. (MUNCH and BOLANDER get out of the car, walk to the entrance of the hospital.) MUNCH: So what kind of music do you like? BOLANDER: I don't know. MUNCH: You don't know? How could you not know what kind of music you like? BOLANDER: Elvis. I like Elvis. MUNCH: Elvis. Elvis Presley? The King? BOLANDER: Yes, Munch. MUNCH: The King? (Performing a passable Elvis move:) Has left the planet. BOLANDER: The man was a god. MUNCH: The man was a junkie. BOLANDER: They put him on a postage stamp. MUNCH: Hey, they'd put Ted Bundy on a postage stamp if they thought it would sell. (The detectives walk through the doors of the hospital.) (Hospital ER Unit. MUNCH, BOLANDER and DR. DEVILBLISS looks at the body of a teenage boy.) DR DEVILBLISS: Patient's name is Howell. Percy Howell. Fourteen years old. Died an hour ago of a cerebral hemmorage. MUNCH: What makes you think it was a murder? DR DEVILBLISS: The hemmorage is a result of severe trauma to the skull. By a blunt object. BOLANDER: Mugging? DR DEVILBLISS: Probably. BOLANDER: Can we talk to the paramedics who brought him in? DR DEVILBLISS: Ambo didn't bring him in. According to the admitting clerk, he just suddenly appeared on the waiting room couch. MUNCH: You mean he walked in under his own steam with a cerebral hemmorage? DR DEVILBLISS: It's possible. According to the scan, he sustained the blows to the head a few days ago. (A medical team comes through with another person on a stretcher.) DR. DEVILBLISS: Ugh. Not another teenager. (As he walks out:) Don't old people die around here anymore? (We're gonna bag 'em, Let's go...) (MUNCH looks at the action in the hallway, then turns back to BOLANDER.) MUNCH: Why would someone get whacked on the noggin and then wait days for treatment? (The detectives contemplate the body.) (A hand writes "228 HOWELL" in red on the Board under BOLANDER's name.) (The Howell House. BOLANDER and MUNCH are speaking with MR. HOWELL, who is dressed in black and has a cross pin on his shirt. A bible is prominently displayed in the room, along with other religious items.) BOLANDER: Mr. Howell, we're very sorry about your loss. HOWELL: God's will be done. MUNCH: Was Percy mugged recently? HOWELL: I don't know. BOLANDER: Well, how do you explain the way he came home a few days ago an' he was all beat up? HOWELL: He didn't. MUNCH: And you didn't ask? HOWELL: In this neighborhood, people get attacked every day. MUNCH: That may be true, but we're talking about your son. BOLANDER: Did he, uh, complain? About anything? Pain? HOWELL: He said he had a headache. I gave him Bufferin. BOLANDER: When's the last time you saw your son? HOWELL: Last night. He went out with one of his friends. MUNCH: (Walking very close to MR. HOWELL:) What's his friend's name? HOWELL: I don't know. He didn't introduce me. Are you a Jew? MUNCH: (Pause.) I'm Jewish, yes. HOWELL: Hm. I can always tell. Let me get that coffee. (MR. HOWELL walks away. MUNCH does not look happy. BOLANDER sighs.) (In the Cavalier.) BOLANDER: I don't think it was a mugging. I wonder if it was child abuse. MUNCH: Father. BOLANDER: (sighs) What a cold fish, huh? I mean, he had no feelings. Just, just nothing about his son. I've never been a father, but h- how can you have no feelings about your kid? MUNCH: You regret never being a daddy? BOLANDER: I regret everything. MUNCH: What's happening with you and Dr. Blythe? BOLANDER: I I I just... I haven't called her lately. MUNCH: Well, you've been preoccupied. BOLANDER: Yeah, uh huh. Went over last night to pick up the last of my things from the old house, cause my wife is moving to California. She wants to be somewhere where it's always sunny. She says to me, (sighs) you ruined my life. Like I did it on purpose, right? Like, you know, I had a plan when we first met, on that first date to ruin her life. MUNCH: (After an awkward pause, not knowing what else to say:) So. Um, I'll call District, see if uh, Hal Senior has any priors on child abuse. BOLANDER: Good. Let's do it. Let's get this one fast. (MUNCH starts the car and they pull onto the street.) (Roof. Baltimore Police Youth Club. GIARDELLO is pushing kids on swings, smiling and laughing. LEWIS comes out, bearing two mugs of coffee. He gives one to GIARDELLO.) LEWIS: (Laughing) Lookin' good, Gee. GIARDELLO: I'd give everything to have a child that size again. LEWIS: Hey, you wanna make a baby, you gotta get you a new wife, man. It's like ridin' a bike. (GIARDELLO and LEWIS walk toward the fence.) GIARDELLO: I had a wife. LEWIS: Yeah well you know you can always get another one, huh? GIARDELLO: Jim *Sinter* and I would watch the same football games every weekend. We'd read the same newspapers. We'd buy our clothes and ties from the same store at the same clearance sales. Every day when the shift changes we'd pass each other, we'd talk about open cases, being understaffed, our ulcers, sports, whatever. Twelve hours later, we'd repeat the dance. (GIARDELLO takes a drink.) LEWIS: Huh. Uh huh. GIARDELLO: Every day of those twelve years Jim Sinter was there. I guess I thought he always would be. LEWIS: You know, well, it's... you know, it's... GIARDELLO: (Stops walking:) I don't like change. (GIARDELLO takes another swig of coffee and walks away.) (PEMBLETON and HOWARD walk out of the Daily Grind, bearing coffee. They talk as they walk across the street.) PEMBLETON: So what is it? Sex, or money? HOWARD: What? PEMBLETON: Somethin' powerful to influence you to give up smoking. Either you made a bet with somebody, or you're sharing your party favors with a very significant other. Sex and money are the only two things in this world more potent than tobacco. HOWARD: What are you talkin' about? PEMBLETON: I hear rumors. Rumors about you and Assistant States Attorney Ed Danvers. So what kind of bet you got goin' with him? HOWARD: I don't have any bet goin' with him. (They stop at the fence.) PEMBLETON: Oh! So you went out to dinner and then back to your place, and after a night of hot steamy, sweaty bone rattling, you lay back and light a cigarette. And he gets on your case about the smoking, right? C'mon, it's about love. Right? HOWARD: Shows, huh? PEMBLETON: Yeah. HOWARD: (Leaning in; this is confidential:) I feel tawdry just thinkin' about it. I must be crazy. Certifiable. I should go see the Department shrink about it. Frank? PEMBLETON: What? HOWARD: Ed Danvers is an alpha male. He's a stallion among ponies, huh? He's a man larger than life itself. PEMBLETON: Large. You mean large as in, uh... HOWARD: Hm hm. PEMBLETON: Huh. HOWARD: Why else would you think I'd quit a two pack a day habit? (HOWARD chuckles and walks away. PEMBLETON has to follow.) PEMBLETON: Whoa whoa whoa. You-- (As PEMBLETON and HOWARD walk up the Stationhouse steps:) PEMBLETON: We're talkin' about Ed Danvers, right? The midget dweeb? HOWARD: Huh. PEMBLETON: C'mon, cut it out. HOWARD: Naw, he drives me insane. Makes me see stars. (Putting a hand on PEMBLETON's shoulder:) I walk around feelin' all this sweet pain. PEMBLETON: I shouldn't be hearin' this. HOWARD: How d'ya you talk about somethin' like this, ya know? (Outside the squadroom.) HOWARD: And he's constant. PEMBLETON: (Putting his hands up:) How-- Howard. HOWARD: I mean anywhere. All day, all night. In the park, in the car, in the movie theater. I've had to set some ground rules. He can't touch me in restaurants or in a church. PEMBLETON: Howard, Howard, I think you're goin' too far. (PEMBLETON walks away. Howard smiles, laughs quietly and covers her face. Then she follows.) (At the coatrack.) HOWARD: Frank. Frank. I was only kidding. I didn't give up cigarettes for Ed Danvers. I gave 'em up for me. PEMBLETON: You were kiddin'? HOWARD: Yes. PEMBLETON: About everything. About... Uh... HOWARD: Yes. PEMBLETON: Yeah. Hm. HOWARD: (With a small smile.) No. PEMBLETON: Aw, come on Howard. HOWARD: Hey, see? (Puts a hand on PEMBLETON's cheek:)I guess you'll never know. (HOWARD walks away, PEMBLETON's eyes following.) (Squadroom. A little girl, ANNA walks into the aquarium. NAOMI walks out of her office to speak to the her. Meanwhile, MUNCH and BOLANDER are at their desks.) MUNCH: Do you know where those Polaroids are? (NAOMI comes over with ANNA.) NAOMI: This girl wants to talk to someone about the Howell case. MUNCH: Why don't you sit down, honey? (ANNA looks down and does nothing. An awkward pause. BOLANDER gives a little wave to the girl.) MUNCH: I'm gonna get some coffee. BOLANDER: (As MUNCH leaves; indicates chair:) Yeah. Go ahead, it's alright. You can sit down. (As she sits:) Pretty sweater you got on. My name is Stanley. What's your name? ANNA: Anna Prager. BOLANDER: Anna Prager. Beautiful name. ANNA: (Looking down:) No it's not. BOLANDER: It's pretty terrible what happened to Percy, huh? Did you come to tell me something about Percy? ANNA: I was up in my room, and I couldn't sleep. BOLANDER: Now this was the night that, that Percy was hurt? ANNA: Yeah. BOLANDER: You know what time it was? ANNA: No. I was supposed to be asleep and then I heard yelling. I went to the window and saw Percy with another boy. BOLANDER: Do you know the other boy's name? ANNA: No. BOLANDER: Have you, uh, seen that other boy around before? ANNA: Yeah. A lot. I seen him with Percy all the time. He has a car. BOLANDER: What kind of car? ANNA: Red. BOLANDER: Th-this other boy. Um, did you see his face? ANNA: S-sorta. He had on a hat you know, one of those ones with the funny snap in the front? BOLANDER: Funny snap in the front? ANNA: Yeah. One of those ones from the old man golfers? (BOLANDER looks through his desk, finds a photo and shows it to ANNA.) BOLANDER: Uh, ay. Look. Look at that. Is, is that the guy in the hat we're talkin' about? ANNA: Yeah, but it wasn't snapped. BOLANDER: Now, sweetie, I'm a real old man golfer myself. Wasn't snapped, huh? (Putting the picture away:) You know what, Anna? We're gonna go to another room, and we're gonna look at some pictures of boys, and we're gonna see if we can find the one who was with Percy that night. ANNA: I, I wasn't supposed to say anything. I know what could happen if that boy came back. I see red cars all around my house. He must be coming around. BOLANDER: But you came because Percy was your friend. ANNA: Yeah. I never told him, but I was hoping he'd be my boyfriend. BOLANDER: I understand. Let's go look at those pictures. C'mon. (BOLLANDER and ANNA stand up and walk away.) (Squadroom. HOWARD walks trough as GIARDELLO stops her. Both are holding paper cups.) HOWARD: Hey, Gee. GIARDELLO: What's new on the Union Square murder? HOWARD: Had a witness in here yesterday. Now all I gotta do is find the killer and hope the witness can i.d. 'em. GIARDELLO: Well, keep me posted. The mayor hates the idea that someone got whacked in Union Square -- it scares the tourists. HOWARD: (As GIARDELLO walks away:) Wouldn't want that. (Breakroom. BAYLISS is reading the newspaper as GIARDELLO walks in. GIARDELLO grabs a soda can.) GIARDELLO: You took the last coke, Tim. BAYLISS: I didn't. Really. But if you want me to, I'll, I'll run up to the third floor and get you somethin'. What, whaddya need? (Standing:) You need a Coke? GIARDELLO: It's okay. BAYLISS: No, it's all right. I'll make the run up there. Just give me some money. You're hung over, you wouldn't -- I'll go. GIARDELLO: No. BAYLISS: Well c'mon, Gee. I'm willing to run up to the third floor for you and only you. GIARDELLO: No. Then I'd be beholden to you. I'd owe you. BAYLISS: You make it sound like you're playing chess with death. GIARDELLO: Maybe I am. (GIARDELLO walks off. Stops to throw the cup away, then walks on.) (GIARDELLO walks upstairs, noticing plastic sheeting covering some things. He walks up the spiral staircase, and at the top, has to move more plastic sheeting to enter the room. GIARDELLO looks around. He notices that the soda machine is covered in plastic as well. Hearing a mechanical noise, GIARDELLO walks towards a door. He moves the covering to reveal workers in hazmat suits.) GIARDELLO: What the hell is goin' on here? (The workers are removing insulation from pipes. GIARDELLO does not look happy. A worker, perhaps FALLS, comes over and puts a breather on GIARDELLO's face. They have an unintelligible exchange of words. A buzzer goes off. GIARDELLO throws the breather on the ground and walks away. The worker looks on.) (Still upstairs. GIARDELLO is pacing as the others speak.) GRANGER: I know you're upset, Al. I'd be upset too. I didn't know you hadn't been informed of this asbestos removal. GIARDELLO: Yeah, right. FALLS: It wasn't seeping into the air. The insulation and fireproofing is still intact. GRANGER: No money is being spared in the budget on this removal. This cleanup is in strict adherence to Federal guidelines and procedures. This is a safe procedure. This building would be safe if you didn't remove the asbestos. GIARDELLO: I'm gonna make a phone call. GRANGER: What? GIARDELLO: I'm gonna make a couple of calls. BARNFATHER: Who are you calling? GIARDELLO: We have the makings of a great story here, don't we? I mean, I have asbestos flying around here and no one tells the rank and file? The men and women who put their lives on the line every day working out of this homicide unit? GRANGER: There are no asbestos fibers flying around in the air! GIARDELLO: Let's see what the Baltimore Sun, radio, and local television stations do with this story! GRANGER: It's a non-story, Al. GIARDELLO: Oh it is, huh? Is that why the two of you are down here? To tell me this *shift will turn*? How non a non-related story this is? BARNFATHER: What do you want? GIARDELLO: What, I want something? BARNFATHER: Oh, come on Giardello, you're cute and all, but not that cute. GIARDELLO: (Getting in Barnfather's face:)Oh, I'm a heartbreaker! You can't bet against that! BARNFATHER: Tell me what you want. GIARDELLO: What do I want? What do you want? What should you want? BARNFATHER: If you didn't want something, youda made your phone calls a long time ago. GIARDELLO: Alright. (As he sits:) I want my people to have chest x-rays and physicals paid for by the city. BARNFATHER: Done. GIARDELLO: I want the information about the asbestos removal going on given to them. I want them to be able to make the choice of whether or not they should come into this building while this asbestos removal is going on. BARNFATHER: Done. GIARDELLO: I want there to be a follow-up every year about this, paid for by the city, for every single detective in this department. BARNFATHER: Done. GIARDELLO: None of the work should proceed until this health issue is resolved. FALLS: Hey, I'm on a tight schedule. I can't afford any delays. (GIARDELLO slams his hand on a table, rears out of his chair, and gets in FALL's face.) GIARDELLO: If I hear one air compressor going off, if I see anyone walking up to that top floor, then I will post six of my biggest detectives in front of that exit and seal *the building* off until next spring. GRANGER: You're a commanding officer. You can't take this personally. GIARDELLO: That's what they tell someone in prison just before they punk 'em. Are you tryin' to punk me here? GRANGER: I didn't say that, Al. I wouldn't say that to you. BARNFATHER: (Slamming notepad on table:) You already got us on this one, Giardello! What? You want an ounce of blood out of us? Huh? You want some sort of revenge? Would that satisfy you? GIARDELLO: An ounce of your blood to satisfy me? (Putting hand on heart:) My Sicilian ancestors believed that revenge is best served cold. I want you to pray with all your heart, my friend, that if any one of my detectives comes down with asbestos sickness, if any one of those detectives even has a funny cough, then I want you to remember the Sicilian's blood oath: *Te setero*, my friend. I will bury you. (GIARDELLO glares; BARNFATHER walks off.) (Squadroom storage/locker/evidence? room. Someone weighs, makes notations and takes a picture of a bag of illegal narcotics.) MUNCH: Ah, the glamour boys are here. BAYLISS: Oh, man. MUNCH: Hey DeSilva, you thinkin' about movin' in? Forget about it, you'll ruin the neighborhood. (On the table are many bags of drugs. MUNCH takes one, opens and sniffs it.) DeSILVA: Well, we ran out of room next door. I don't expect you to be the welcome wagon lady, but uh, we just made the biggest drug bust in Baltimore history. MUNCH: Uh oh. Get out the body bags, have the M.E. stand by. BAYLISS: Why? MUNCH: Well, because, you know, these narcs. They make a seizure, they get a few headlines, next day we gotta clean up three, four bodies -- dealers, middlemen, innocent bystanders. DeSILVA: And that's my fault. MUNCH: It's the law's fault. (FELTON walks into the room.) FELTON: Hey Russ, what's up? What's goin' on? BAYLISS: It's the biggest bust in history. MUNCH: You know what that means. FELTON: I'm not bitter. I can use the overtime. (As he walks out:) But just this week. NARC: Alright. MUNCH: You know, marijuana's only illegal because of William Randolph Hearst. BAYLISS: Hearst. You mean the Citizen Kane Hearst? MUNCH: Yes. And the DuPonts. Marijuana's the flowering tops of the hemp plant. The hemp plant also produces a very high quality fiber. Better than wood fiber. BAYLISS: Hm. Oh. MUNCH: The Hearsts' also owned tremendous timber acreage. They would've lost a fortune. And the DuPonts', they wanted to introduce a new synthetic to the world. Nylon. (DeSILVA looks at MUNCH, a little incredulous.) BAYLISS: Ah... MUNCH: To take the place of hemp rope. BAYLISS: I see. So then they, uh they outlawed the hemp. MUNCH: Until World War Two. And then the Japanese invaded the Phillipines, took over the hemp plantations, and there was a shortage of rope during the war, so the government had all the American farmers grow hemp. Matter of fact, they made a little film, Hemp for Victory. BAYLISS: Hemp for Vi-- I saw that film. MUNCH: Yeah, well they showed it to all the 4-H clubs. (BAYLISS laughs). MUNCH: Well then Hearst, after the war, helps the government get hemp illegal again, which made marijuana illegal again. NARC: That's a lotta *bull*. DeSILVA: Yeah, it's well put, but I've heard that Hearst theory before. How d'ya explain the fact that marijuana is illegal in most other countries? MUNCH: First of all, it's not a theory. Second of all, Hearst had a very long arm. Hearst had a very far reach. DeSILVA: You really believe that? MUNCH: I really believe that. DeSILVA: (Walking out of the room:) No wonder you guys can't solve a murder. MUNCH: (Beat.) Well, I wouldn't solve yours. (LEWIS and CROSETTI get out of a Cavalier and walk towards a rowhouse.) LEWIS: Alright, so I'll be the primary. Cool? CROSETTI: Alright. Why? LEWIS: I need the money. Two hours here at the scene, three hours for the interrogation, three more hours for the paperwork, four hours for the autopsy. That's twelve hours at time and a half CROSETTI: You're a whore. (CROSETTI opens the front door, holds it for LEWIS.) LEWIS: I'm a man buildin' a Cobra. (The Box. BOLANDER and MUNCH walk in. Sitting a the table is EVAN, a young punk.) EVAN: Can I make a call? BOLANDER: (Standing over Evan:) Who would you like to call? EVAN: My ride. I been here an hour. BOLANDER: Hm. Well, soon as we're through here, we'll get you a ride. Okay? MUNCH: (Sitting across from Evan:) Evan? You own a red Camaro, don't you? EVAN: Yeah. BOLANDER: Do you know Percy Howell? EVAN: No. BOLANDER: (Pause.) We have a witness, Evan, who saw you with Percy Howell the night he was attacked. EVAN: Me? Nope. BOLANDER: We have a witness. EVAN: Sh-- I don't care. I don't know the man. MUNCH: Evan? When you say you don't know the man, do you mean that in the philosophical sense, as in "no man really knows another man", or are you refering to the Biblical sense in like, say, Lot knew his wife? EVAN: Man, what's he jaggin' on about? MUNCH: (Slamming hand on table, pointing at Evan:) Look, you're a lying bastard aren't you? You think we're stupid? Huh? Answer me! You think we're stupid? EVAN: I don't know. I don't know you. MUNCH: You don't know me, you don't know him, you don't know Percy, do you know anybody? EVAN: Huh? MUNCH: (Mocking:) Huh? You're a lying liar, you know that? You're just a liar! You make me sick! (Pointing:) You're charged! EVAN: Charged with what? MUNCH: Charged with what? With being a lying liar, okay? You lying piece of detritus! EVAN: I didn't lie. What is detritus? BOLANDER: (who is standing authoritatively at a window:) Detective Munch, I'm afraid that we're gonna have to subject Mr. Hess here with an electrolite neutron-magnetic scan test. EVAN: Uh, uh, a what? MUNCH: Detective Bolander, I think that's an excellent idea. (MUNCH gets up and walks toward the door.) MUNCH: (turning to Evan:) A very good idea. (Opening up door; yells:) WE'RE GONNA NEUTRON THIS LITTLE BASTARD! BOLANDER: And I can't wait. (In GIARDELLO's office. GIARDELLO is at his desk. HOWARD is standing, while BAYLISS is sitting.) GIARDELLO: Let me get this clear in my mind. What you want me to do is section off a non-smoking area for the two of you, right? HOWARD: Not just for the two of us, for any non-smokers (nervous laugh). GIARDELLO: Uh huh. Where are all these non-smokers? HOWARD: If you build it, they will come. GIARDELLO: Is that right? Where do you suggest I find a place to create, to build this non-nicotine Field of Dreams? In the coffee room, would that suit you? HOWARD: You'd give us the coffee room? GIARDELLO: Sure. I'd give you permission to post a notice. You put up a sign to ban all cigarette smoking in the coffee room. BAYLISS: No, I think that the, uh, coffee room is sacred to the guys, Gee, you know? GIARDELLO: (laughs) You're not as dumb as you look, Bayliss. BAYLISS: Thanks, Gee. GIARDELLO: Coffee and nicotine, mom and apple pie, hot dogs and mustard, sex and latex -- Somehow you mess with any of the combination of those, you're taking your life in your hands. HOWARD: There's a statute from OSHA that mandates-- (GIARDELLO continues to chuckle.) HOWARD: -- that no smoking areas be designated in each and every public working place. GIARDELLO: Oh, OSHA, huh? (laughs) Alright, there are federal statutes and state statutes and city statutes mandating that people curb their dogs, play their stereos at a reasonable volume, and respect the office of the Presidency. But who cares about any of that? OSHA. (laughs) HOWARD: (Leaning across GIARDELLO's desk:) You refuse to enforce a federal law? GIARDELLO: Yes, I do. I most certainly do. HOWARD: Gee, sometimes being in command means issuing unpopular orders. GIARDELLO: Are you calling me a coward? BAYLISS: (Leaning forward:) No no no no no no, sir. HOWARD: (Hands up:) No. I'm not. GIARDELLO: Sure you are. HOWARD: I'm not. I-- GIARDELLO: Sure, in so many words, you're saying that I'm too scared to put a cigarette in this squadroom. I watched Crosetti try to quit smoking. Crosetti without smoking is an unnecessary terror. You may be right, I may be a coward, but you may be right, and needlessly stupid and reckless at the same time. Now get out of here, both of you. (HOWARD and BAYLISS leave the office. GIARDELLO laughs.) (Copy room. BOLANDER leafs through papers which read "TRUE" or "FALSE" at the top. MUNCH places a placard on the door which reads "ELECTROLITE NEUTRON-MAGNETIC TEST". MUNCH walks into the copy room. Over the copy machine is another placard.) MUNCH: Evan computes as a part of a loosely formed gang called the Zeps. Think it was them that mugged Percy? BOLANDER: I don't know. (Putting the papers in the machine:) We see what we find out. MUNCH: Alright, bring him in! (A UNIFORM brings EVAN into the room.) BOLANDER: Mr. Hess, according to Federal regulation seven dash seven dash b dash point six, I have to inform you that continued exposure to this machine, the electrolite neutron-magnetic test scanner, can be lethal. For your own health, I'm gonna urge you to answer these questions quickly and truthfully. Understand? EVAN: Th-that's only a copy machine. BOLANDER: Copy machine? EVAN: You know, a machine that makes copies. (A knock on the door.) MUNCH: Hey, Beau. FELTON: Ay, uh, Stanley, your ex-wife's on the phone. BOLANDER: Right. I'll get back to her. FELTON: (Pointing:) You guys doin' the electrolyte neutron-magnetic test scan? MUNCH: Yes. FELTON: Now, I've asked you guys, I don't even wanna be in the building when that thing's turned on, alright? (FELTON shuts the door. BOLANDER sighs.) BOLANDER: Alright Mr. Hess, take your right glove off and place your right hand in the designated area. (There is a piece of paper on the machine, with a handprint on it.) BOLANDER: Let's go. C'mon, I don't want to waste time with this thing. (MUNCH puts EVAN's hand on the designated area.) BOLANDER: Mr Hess, is your name Evan Hess? (BOLANDER pushes the copy button. MUNCH holds up the answer - TRUE.) EVAN: Yes. BOLANDER: So far, so good. (Pushing button again:) Do you belong to a gang known as the Zeps? EVAN: Yes. MUNCH: (Holding up another TRUE result:) Very good. (Patting Evan on the shoulder:) Just keep tellin' the truth, Evan. BOLANDER: You ready? EVAN: I don't wanna be gamma-rayed, man! BOLANDER: Alright. (Pushing the copy button:) Do you know who killed Percy Howell? EVAN: Uh... Uh... BOLANDER: Come on. EVAN: No! (MUNCH holds up the scan's result - FALSE.) BOLANDER: You can't fool it. It's the space age. MUNCH: Do it again, and just keep doin' it till he tells the truth. Me, I hafta get outta here because I can't afford to lose any more of my sperm count. EVAN: Yo! Wh-wh-what? MUNCH: I guess we didn't tell you. There's an eleven percent chance of penile *stustification*. EVAN: Penile st-stust -- oh, geez. Okay. Okay, okay. It was Colin, man. Colin Dietz. The leader of the Zeps. He hit Percy with a baseball bat. MUNCH: Baseball bats. Weapon of choice of the Nineties. Cheap, legal and you can get 'em in any sporting goods store. BOLANDER: You know, I can remember when kids used to use baseball bats to hit baseballs with? EVAN: Am I gonna die? Am I gonna die from these neutron rays? BOLANDER: Aw no, man. You're not gonna die from neutron rays because, hm, smart guy, (pointing:) this _is_ a copy machine. Come on! (BOLANDER walks out of the room. MUNCH puts an arm around EVAN and taps him on the cheek, leading him out of the room and laughing as he does so.) (Squadroom. Night. FELTON hangs up the phone, and takes a drag off his cigarette.) FELTON: That Union Square killing? I just got the address of a bar our suspect frequents. Dean Foreman. HOWARD: Great. Let's go. PEMBLETON: Hey, Dean Foreman? I got a warrant on that guy for one of my cases. The Lily murder. BAYLISS: Yeah. FELTON: Hey, uh, Howie, there's no way I'm ridin' with you if I can't smoke. HOWARD: You're not smokin' in the car, Beau. BAYLISS: I'll ride with Kay. Okay? PEMBLETON: Oh, salvation. (PEMBLETON gets up from his desk.) (Stationhouse steps. CROSETTI hands LEWIS a small box.) CROSETTI: It's for you. LEWIS: What? What you doin' man? What's it, a diamond engagement ring, some kind of necklace or somethin'? (Opening the box:) Hey hey hey! (Laughs.) That's a genuine Cobra rear view mirror, and look who is behind the wheel! (CROSETTI laughs.) LEWIS: Where'd you get this? CROSETTI: I still got some connections, you know? LEWIS: (Looking at mirror:) Ay. Wow. Man, what can I say? CROSETTI: Well, you could say... you could say you're gonna buy me a round at the Waterfront. LEWIS: Yeah, I could say that. CROSETTI: You could, you could. LEWIS: I could. You serious? CROSETTI: You're gonna buy me at least a, like, pack of cigarettes though no problem... LEWIS: (As they walk down the steps:) Well, I could say that I'm gonna buy you one. LEWIS: I'm gonna bum one-- CROSETTI: You're gonna buy me-- LEWIS: for you from somebody else. I'll bum you a cigarette, that's what I'd do. CROSETTI: You know, you are such a cheap bastard. I spent my money-- LEWIS: I'm cheap? CROSETTI: I spent my money on that thing! LEWIS: Where did you get this? Where did you get it? CROSETTI: I'm not gonna tell you where I got the damn thing! LEWIS: Okay, one beer. CROSETTI: One beer! LEWIS: And, And.. CROSETTI: And a shot. LEWIS: And a shot. CROSETTI: A shot and a beer. LEWIS: (As they exit;)You get your own cigarettes. CROSETTI: And a pack of cigarettes! I want the cigarettes, too, you dirty, rotten, son of a-- (The door closes behind them.) (In a Cavalier. PEMBLTON and FELTON are on stakeout, waiting for their suspect. Both have cigarettes in their mouths.) FELTON: It's impossible to be partners with someone who's trying to quit smoking. PEMBLETON: It's the guilt trip they run, right? FELTON: I feel like I gotta post bond every time I want to take a cigarette out. Every time I go to light one up, I can feel Howard's eyes burning a hole through the back of my head, like I just abandoned her. PEMBLETON: I quit once. I'll quit again. Someday for good. FELTON: Me too. PEMBLETON: I quit for three months once. FELTON: Eight months. PEMBLETON: Eight months? That's impressive. Eight months? FELTON: Well, not straight, no. Uh, over the years, I've quit smoking ten times for a total of eight months. (FELTON takes a drag from his cigarette.) PEMBLETON: Hmm. (In another Cavalier. HOWARD and BAYLISS are on stakeout, waiting for their suspect. Both do not have cigarettes, but HOWARD has pretzels.) HOWARD: You bought a pack of cigarettes. BAYLISS: Yeah. But I threw 'em away as soon as I opened the pack. HOWARD: Ayah, but you bought a pack of cigarettes. How'd it feel? BAYLISS: Great. And I said real calm, I said, "A Pack of Winstons, please." HOWARD: Ohhh, Winstons! Good choice. BAYLISS: Yeah, so I paid for 'em, you know, and I walked out, my heart is just (beats chest:) pounding away, and, you know, my hands are all sweaty, and I, I opened the pack. HOWARD: Oh, yeah! That little red band on the Winstons that (mimes:) opens the cellophane. BAYLISS: Mm hm. Threw away the pack since I opened it though. HOWARD: Ya see? That's willpower. BAYLISS: Absolutely. Then I, you know, I walked over and I picked 'em up again, cause that package just felt so good in my hands, you know? You know how a new pack of cigarettes, you know, how it, how it just lies in the palm of the hand so lightly yet so solidly. HOWARD: Huh, you say what you want about America, (gesturing with pretzel:) but we still make a damn fine pack of cigarettes. BAYLISS: Yeah. Huh. (In the first Cavalier. FELTON and PEMBLETON are still commiserating. PEMBLETON still has a cigarette in his mouth.) PEMBLETON: We should stop smoking. FELTON: Our partners, they know what they're doin'. PEMBLETON: They do, don't they? Self-righteous bastards. FELTON: Well, they're right to quit. PEMBLETON: You're right, they're right. I was off the smokes for three months. You know, I said to myself, "Hey, I got this thing beat". Then I go out on this one case standin' in this room that got all these burned bodies. FELTON: Yeah? PEMBLETON: S'all so quick. So sudden. Things come out of the blue. Wire shorts out. Family's dead. Bing. Just like that. FELTON: It's all random. Every damn thing. PEMBLETON: It is. I stepped on the street, after seeing this family burned to death, I don't know. I don't know how the cigarette wound up in my mouth, but there it was, all lit up. FELTON: (Lighting another cigarette.)Yeah. (PEMBLETON rolls down the window and throws his butt out.) (A squad car, sirens on, pulls up to a group of teenagers surrounding a truck. MUNCH and BOLANDER pull up and get out of their car.) MUNCH: Colin Dietz. You Colin? BOLANDER: That you? Colin, I want you to turn around and face the front of this truck. Turn around, son. (Grabbing Colin and turning him around:) Reach up in the bin of the truck. You have the right to remain silent. (Putting cuffs on:) You have the right to have an attorney. If you can't afford an attorney, Colin, I'm gonna get you one, alright? You understand that? (BOLANDER turns COLIN around.) BOLANDER: You understand? MUNCH: (Getting in COLIN's face:) He asked you a question! COLIN: (right back:) Yeah, I understand! BOLANDER: Well, let me ask you somethin' else then. Percy Howell was what, fourteen years old? He's not a very big guy physically, is he? But you and your gang, you surround him, don't you? And you beat him with a baseball bat. Now why? Hm? Money? How much money he have on 'em? That's funny to you, isn't it, Colin? (Grabbing COLIN by the lapels:) Well, I wanna try to understand the humor here, son! Alright? COLIN: We weren't mugging him, we were making him. Percy wanted to be a Zep. He wanted to be in the gang. So-- MUNCH: So you hit him in the head with a baseball bat to see how tough he was? Some kind of initiation? COLIN: No. I hit him with that bat because we're brothers. Brothers in pain. You see, not everyone in this world's born rich, not everyone in this world's smart, but there's one thing we all know, everybody, everybody knows pain. I hit him with that bat to show him that I understand his pain. I hit him with that bat to show him that I love him. BOLANDER: Well, you killed him. Get him outta here. COLIN: (As a Uniform takes him away:) Man, you don't get it, do you! Do you? Uh huh, that's cool. BOLANDER: (as he leans on the truckbed:)Murder ain't what it used to be. (The Board. A hand erases "228 HOWELL" and rewrites it in black.) (A Cavalier. Back on stakeout with HOWARD and BAYLISS.) HOWARD: How 'bout those nicotine patches? They work? BAYLISS: Hm? HOWARD: Patches? BAYLISS: Ah. Yes. Absolutely. I just remembered - I gotta talk to Frank for a minute. (BAYLISS gets out of the car.) HOWARD: What d'ya hafta talk to Frank about? (Calling after him:) Hey, Tim? (BAYLISS crosses the street to the car in which PEMBLETON and FELTON are sitting. He leans into the window.) BAYLISS: Hi. Hi, Frank. PEMBLETON: (Rolling down window:) Hey. BAYLISS:Hey, can I get a cigarette? PEMBLETON: What? BAYLISS: Just-- just give me a damn cigarette, alright? (FELTON laughs) PEMBLETON: Give me a cigarette, Beau. FELTON: (As he hands a pack to PEMBLETON:) He's cracking up already. Look at him. BAYLISS: (laughs) You're so funny. Okay. (BAYLISS takes a cigarette from the pack; PEMBLETON lights it for him. But before he can get a good drag...) FELTON: Hey, that's him. That's the guy. (FELTON and PEMBLETON get out of the car and start chasing their suspect. General sounds of commotion. BAYLISS throws the cigarette down on the ground and follows. HOWARD brings up the rear.) (The Waterfront. BOLANDER is alone at the bar, nursing a drink, and talking to a BARTENDER. The BARTENDER is polishing a glass. Country music is playing in the background.) BOLANDER: We killed him, you know? Yeah, we killed Elvis. It's just as if we'd taken a gun and put it to his head. BARTENDER: Think so? BOLANDER He's just a country boy. He's lookin' for some lovin' you know, like everybody else -- he's no different. BARTENDER: Yeah, yeah. BOLANDER: We turned him into a bloated, drug-addicted monster. That's what we do, you know. The people that we identify with... Somebody comes along, and they say what's in our hearts, and we love them so much for that, that we push 'em away. We make 'em them isolate themselves. And, and I'm not just talkin' about, you know building yourself a fortress like Graceland or anything like that, I'm talkin' about... You know, Elvis got fat. BARTENDER: Shyeah. BOLANDER: He got famous, he got fat. BARTENDER: Real fat. BOLANDER: Boy, he ate. And he ate, and he ate, and he ate, and he turned himself into an island, huh? Orson Welles, did the same thing. Brando? Liz Taylor? What for though? I mean really, what for? S'it... For love? Is it for love? Huh. Just the other day, I saw the body of a kid. Just a teenage kid. Some other kid killed 'em with a baseball bat. BARTENDER: Oh. BOLANDER: Yeah. I mean, the kid stands there, and lets the other kid hit him with a baseball bat, because the kid just has no love in his life. Yeah, the bat. I mean, gettin' hit with that bat. Maybe that's the most affection he ever got. Yeah. BARTENDER: Hm. *Wow*. BOLANDER: My wife and I danced to Elvis on our first date. BARTENDER: You did? (They share a laugh.) BARTENDER: *What did ya figure out*? BOLANDER: We were hot, we were hot. BARTENDER: Sure. BOLANDER: My ex. We just got divorced after twenty-three years of marriage. BARTENDER: That's a long time, isn't it? BOLANDER: I know, I know. We loved each other when we were married. We did. Uh, yeah. I, I, I, I, I really think.. I mean, I don't... I don't know if I remember. I'm not sure. (The BARTENDER looks at him. BOLANDER proposes a toast.) BOLANDER: Here's to tomorrow! BARTENDER: (As he walks away:) Yeah. (BOLANDER takes a drink. Sighs. The country song ends.) BOLANDER: (sings:) Take my heart, take this ring. I give it all to you. I give you all eternity... (BOLANDER hums the rest of the song.) END CREDITS